My World

I have to leave… I memang tak sampai hati nak tinggalkan this place. Yesterday, Baskin had a party. I wish I could stay. Suzanne asked me to join her n Irene on Sunday. I wish I could. Can I? I really want to. Can I, please?

I have actually postpone my trip back home d.. I was s’pose to be back last week. But then i stayed on a few more days for church. N then so i postponed it to Tuesday, 17th. Then Baskin party had to be postponed to fit most ppl, so i postponed it to 19th. All of the sudden, i have few things that i need to settle with a b****h. Forgive my harsh words but when it comes to the b****h, i cant controll my temper. It’s either i settle it with her or i just leave it. B’coz of that, I hv to postpone it til this weekend… Then suzanne extended the invitation to go jalan jalan… sigh…. AAARRRGGHHH…

I dread the day at home. Knowing that most of my friends are not there and I have to … sigh…

Gosh, I think i made TI sound/look so bad.. Actually TI is not bad. Just that, I have my dreams and hopes. I wish I could pen it down but i think my dreams and hopes are too complicated to be written down. I wish i can share it with my family but no can do either.. I just keep it in me…

Know what? mom told my grandfather that i’ll be back on 19th. Apparently he has some premonition that i wont be back on 19th… ehhehe… I guess he’s right… They are worried that i am alone here, with no relatives bla bla bla bla… that i might be mixing with the wrong gang and get myself into some crime or something… they r afraid 学坏。。。 SIGH… For goodness sake, im 25. If i wanted to mix with the wrong gang, I believed i would have already 学坏 long time ago, need not wait till now… sigh… Gimme a break will ya…

I believe that the longer i stay here, the more worried they are esp my grandfather…. that’s partly why i felt i have to go back… to ease their worries. Also, i think it’s my responsibility to care for them but……. i dont really want them to probe into what i do at the same time… sigh… selfish huh? I am rather secretive. I cannot just ‘blah’ all out… only with certain ppl am i able to do that….

Was talking with Bryan yesterday bout ‘chance/peluang/decision’ during the party. He said, if we hv the power to decide, why am i leaving Penang, knowing that I love this place and I can’t bear to leave… Like him, he loves this place, that’s why he has decided not to leave.  Yes, I can decide to stay but unlike him, i have only my sister n i in the family. I dont hv few extra siblings to take care of things back home… sigh… No matter how I dislike staying in TI, my conscience will not be at peace if I stay back in Penang. What Intan said was right. I have responsibilities. Everyone does. Only difference is whether it’s heavy or light, urgent or not.

Shoot, I really need to find a new hobby… I was thinking of fishing… ehhehe… but i can imagine what my parents/grandparents would say " Girls shouldnt go fishing, it’s too dangerous bla bla bla bla…" Probably can go join gym…oh dear, , are there any gym in TI? Even if there are, I can picture my family saying, "Dont go there! A lot of bad hats hang around in that place…" Yup, that’ll be their answer… sigh… If i choose to go for walks, "Dont go la. It’s not safe like it used to be anymore". What more can i do? I will get streamyx, that’s for sure. No question bout that…

One step at a time… yUP!! But i havent answered suzzane yet, i told her i’ll get back to her on the invitation and it’s Fri already tomorrow….!!!

SH%#^!! Don’t they have better things to do… i GOT a summons for illegal parking… but then, i have parked there many many times but only today i got the ticket… sigh… my mood went from bad to worse…

Today, mood was bad cuz was mad at a friend for doing things without looking properly. Then, plus the ticket, it went straight down… sigh… What to do… just pay the darn thing lor…. N m also worried bout another fren of mine… sigh…

I wanted to go Starbucks to blog today, but since i was at my fren’s place and she came back just in time, so i m here blogging at her place… hehehe…

PC Fair is here… i was thinking of buying a battery for the laptop… It just konked out… went dead on me.. cant even on the laptop with battery now… sigh… this month, dah le, tak de income utk bulan nie, nie nak belanje lagi utk semue brg brg… sigh… geramnye aku….

aku rase hidup aku skrg nie penuh cabaran & masalah la… kekadang, malas aku nak layan semuenye… menyampah gak… sigh… macam tak bertenaga le nak pikir pasal hidup hidup aku nie skrg…

dahle… i nak chow dah… biar ku blog di lain hari, ya!! TA-TA!! MUAKS….

Thank God for the existence for Wi-Fi… or more specifically, places that have Wi-Fi… namely Starbucks at P.Tikus… hahahah… Most likely will frequent this place till next week… N i’ll probably be hooked on coffee, or be broke, also because of coffee… hahaha…

Havent been checking my mails, or chatting, or updating my blogs, or uploading pics, or doing stuff that normally ppl do when they are online… But i hope to be able to do that these few days…

I have stopped my work, starting April. I will be going back home to help out my family. Will be here, at least till after Easter… So from now till then, I am trying to catch up with friends, spending time with them bla bla…and trying to eat up all that I will miss when I am back…

I wish I can blog longer today, but I have things to do, and place to go… hehehe… but ….

anyway, I will be blogging tmr.. i think… so till then….

MUAKKKKKKKSSSS……………….